I’ve really been pondering the notion of authentic community recently. During several discussions, there have been moments of revelation, elation, indignation and sometimes blood boiling frustration. I am sure the people around me during this discourse are either perplexed or utterly scared by this time (ok I am being dramatic). Here is a picture of my adorable niece that really sums up how I have felt about this topic.
Let me explain how a UCD (Unyielding Conviction & Design) which is my primary gift, approaches community and then we can look at the other gifts. My objective is to help learn how we can actually use MDNA for authentic intrinsically motivated community while working together.
No Such Thing as Community for Community’s Sake to a UCD
To a me, a UCD, ideology is everything. There needs to be a reason and purpose for a community to exist. My family is an authentic intrinsically motivated community. Now this may horrify some of you others with different Motivational Value Systems, but I started a family not for love. To me, my family exists for a purpose, and that is to produce LIFE. It is an ideology that drives me. This means I did not have children because I wanted little rug rats to love. In my heart, children are about legacy and releasing life into the world for a bigger impact than our nuclear family. My children are not mine. They are a gift to the world I am responsible for temporarily until it is time to release them into the
Just being brutally transparent here. Let me rant a little more.
I tell my wife all the time, if God forbid something ever happened to my family and I was single again, I would never, short of a burning bush telling me otherwise, attempt to get married again. Why? Because I have other purposes to pursue. Does this mean I don’t want to be married and regret it? Absolutely not. The second most important decision I have ever made was marrying my wonderful wife Tae-Young (if you want to know the first decision just ask). It is definitely not good for man to be alone. And I have an ideology that it takes a real man to be faithful to one woman and his children for his entire life. I am sheer-bent on proving it even though some days I may not necessarily feel it.
So what about love?
I have learned that love is not an emotion (yes you do feel things with love) or a motivation (yes love motivates you). But love is tangible “stuff.” This stuff called love is radioactive. One particle of it has nuclear potential to power the world. In my family, we covet love. I want my wife and children to experience this radioactive nuclear love to the fullest.
You see what I just did there? I turned love into an ideology!
So if you want to build community with me, let’s share an ideology. Then I will be intrinsically motivated to treat it more than just a group of people that happen to gather. I accept it when people want to be in relationships. I have come to enjoy relationships more and more (something that is not natural for an immature UCD at first). But relationships, without an ideological purpose, have a shelf life for me personally. And so will my participation in community.
But communities with purpose? Now that gets me excited. I am so grateful that I managed to stumble my way into an authentic intrinsically motivated community every Saturday morning. This community gets me. They make room for me and share the stuff called love with me. But most importantly, we all have bought into an ideology that under girds the sense of community.
Ok enough ranting. (They say that in content marketing blogs are too self-absorbed to be effective. But some also say everybody should write a blog just to be yourself even if nobody reads it. I needed this one.)
Ok next part, I will actually provide some hopefully helpful advice on MDNA in communities when working together. Stay tuned!