@edkang99 Life (re)Startup Blog:

As the year winds down, I have been having some amazing conversations with my wife Tae-Young. We began collaborating on a list of lies, which are really personal beliefs, that caused us grief over the last year and pretty much our whole lives. It was a healthy exercise to take inventory on my thought patterns. So much so, I decided to create a series that will hopefully help you into the New year.

To get things started, here is the list (slight adjustments may be made as we go):

1. I must be perfect.
2. Mistakes mean failure.
3. Weakness and insufficiency are not acceptable.
4. I should be recognized by everybody.
5. My actions determine how people see me.
6. My achievements determine my value.
7. Acceptance means I must be doing well.
8. I cannot disappoint others.
9. I shouldn’t have adversaries.
10. Others should just trust the way I think and do things.
11. I need to help others agree with my opinions.
12. When people disagree, it means they are rejecting me.
13. I can only be happy if things go my way.
14. Confrontation is bad.
15. I’ll get to the hard work eventually.
16. Having spiritual beliefs means I shouldn’t have problems.
17. My unhappiness is caused by other people’s problems.
18. I should always be happy.
19. My situation and circumstances will never change.
20. Feeling angry, disgusted, afraid, sad, hopeless or ashamed is bad.

Any immediately stick out for you? These lies will deceptively undermine and eventually sabotage any attempt to achieve personal success and professional fulfillment. By no means is this list exhaustive. But it was thorough for me. In fact, we’ve been discussing them with our nine and eleven-year old sons every night during our journal times. If you want to go deeper, feel free to comment or reach out.

Stay tuned for a post on each one. Happy New Year!