In my last post I shared about why we develop blind spots and how we can deal with them. Knowing your MDNA gift can really help you see your blind spots before you get blindsided by a character issue. That’s what we’ll explore here in part two.
It All Starts with Ego
Your own ego, or sense of pride, is the starting point for all blind spots of character. We develop ego when trying to mask our own fear of insecurity and insignificance. Our ego acts as a protective shield. The problem is, that shield, gets in the way of our vision. Our egos are reinforced by finding legitimacy in our gifts, strengths, accomplishments etc.
The opposite of ego is humility. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking about yourself less. In other words, you can be gifted, talented, accomplished and strong, and not make it about your own security and significance. You are free to be who you are versus hiding behind what you do.
Potential Blind Spots of Each MDNA Gift
We can struggle with any one of these listed below. So it is always wise just to be open to them all. There are just certain patterns we see based upon common patterns of intrinsic motivation and social DNA. Take a look (you’ll need humility just to be honest about this).
UCD – Fixing Problems and Ideologies
The UCD is known for being able to fix problems and come up with strategies amidst chaos. They are also very ideologically driven. This means the UCD can get some pretty bad tunnel vision when trying to fix themselves and others. Not all problems are yours to fix (preaching to myself here as an Olympian UCD that has fallen into this over and over). The other issue happens when there is ideological tension. The black and white approach can make us blind to all the nuances of grays and we end up breaking relationships, or writing people off, because of it. In fact, we can be pretty mean and blunt not realizing it because we are blinded by the problem and ideology.
SSA – Serving Others Ignoring Own Needs
The SSA loves to build a platform of success under others and meet tangible needs. Because of this, they tend to avoid the social spotlight and any attention to their own needs. They cannot say no, and become blind to the fact that some people are simply there to take advantage of it. Boundaries are easily broken because you can’t see the boundaries in the first place. Deep hurts can occur which end up stunting character. The SSA can also make excuses for the character issues of others around them. They enable and everything just gets worse.
KWR – Being Smart and Right
The KWR is all about being precise and perfect when it comes to information and knowledge. This tends to mean they have to be right all the time. This can form an intellectual blindness where the KWR refuses to see something they cannot validate with their own rational process. In many cases, the KWR can hide behind academic achievement and intellectualism. They simply cannot see a character issue right under their nose. People around the KWR then are afraid or fed up trying to do anything about it because they are simply dismissed as foolish or intellectually inferior.
EIA – Trying to Get Everybody to Like Them
The EIA is built for relationships. They love connecting and attracting everybody around them. And they are gifted to do so. The blind spot occurs when having someone like you is more important than the reality of what is best for a situation. This is where the EIA can avoid confrontation. The EIA also tends to rely completely upon raw talent and potential. And because they are so good at communicating, they don’t see where they have to work on character issues for personal development. This frustrates the people around them.
CVS – Personal Security and Resources
The CVS recognizes the value of resources and can mange them for maximum ROI. For example, time is a valuable resource. However, the CVS can be so focused on ROI that they think everything else, including facing personal character issues is a waste of time. This is why the CVS tends to get very annoyed when others bring up issues from the past. The CVS can also get very fixated on managing resources for personal security. They can be very frugal with time and money which all leads to being very private and independent. We cannot grow in isolation where you will never trust and take risks.
DLF – Being a Leader and in Control
The DLF is a natural born leader whether they have the formal title or not. There is a productive capacity that drives a DLF to be as busy as they want to be. People are amazed at what a DLF can build, even when facing tremendous opposition. Therefore having authority, and being able to wield it, can be a major blind spot. They can take a dominating it’s “my way or the highway” approach. And because the DLF is highly organized, losing control, especially with people, can create a lot of friction. Using control to lead can become a major character issue that the DLF just cannot see.
IAF – Happiness and Emotional Stubbornness
The IAF always seeks fulfillment for themselves and others. In other words, they want people to become who they are designed to be and experience all the happiness that life can give. Their deep sensitivity means the ability to sense when others are in pain. They feel it to their core. But this desire to feel happy, and make others happy, can become a blind spot. Happiness is not always possible and character issues can be ignored pursuing it anyway. This can lead to an emotional stubbornness where the IAF refuses to budge based upon what they are feeling. At the worst, this character issue develops into constant overt self-gratification where the IAF will only do what feels “good” to them.
The Solution? It’s Not About You
There are many resources and of help for character. Just go Google any character issue you think you have and there will be a plethora of information waiting to help. But for me, the simplest solution is to stop making everything about you and make it about others. Remember, think about yourself less.
In other words, learn how to love other people. To do this, you will first need to learn how to receive love yourself. Notice how I did not say, “learn to love yourself.” I simply don’t believe loving yourself is even possible to any satisfying measure. (Remember, black and white UCD here.) I’m convinced that loving yourself is really making it all about you anyway which leads to more ego. Loving yourself is really being willing to receive love from others–which most of us do very poorly. We feel like it is better to give than to receive. So you cannot give something to others you have not received first.
Let other people love you. Find people that will do this unconditionally and freely. This may mean a change in your social life. Just receive. Let your heart be filled and from the overflow, go love others. Love others with your gifts. You will be amazed how things change in terms of your own character without even really having to work on it.
Let me know it goes!