IAF: Intuitive Alignment & Fulfillment
We are curious to see how MDNA affects dating and romantic relationships. Just like in any social situation, people can approach the same circumstance from completely unique perspectives. Every MDNA gift approaches dating and romance differently. These differences can cause either unnecessary misunderstanding or add a unique variety of opportunities for a deeper connection through mutual acceptance.
After observing people in different relational situations (married, single, divorced, etc.) and listening to their stories, we have the following advice that may be of assistance in the increasingly complex world of dating and romance. This is by no means complete. But, we hope it will give you just a little more confidence.
If You Are IAF
If you are an IAF, relationships can be straight-forward and very complex at the same time. Everybody is attracted to a healthy IAF in some way because of your empathy and compassion. But, there are two traps that will get you into trouble when it comes to romance. The first is your significant other cannot read your mind. You must learn to properly articulate how you are feeling, especially if you are hurt or offended. Or else, resentment can sink in. The second is what looks and feels good to you is not necessarily the best for the relationship. Sometimes you have to the accept truth and act accordingly— no matter how hard it feels. Also remember, not everybody is as wired for relational intimacy as you are. You will want to know everything that is going on and they are feeling in real-time. To you the relationship is circular. You see every detail from every angle. But to others, relationships are linear. Learn to balance out your needs with theirs and respect where they are. You may have a vision for them and your relationship. But learn to take it a step-at-a-time or they will feel smothered, or even worse, controlled and manipulated.
This all means you need to have boundaries. Your desire for relational intimacy can be taken advantage of. If you find yourself constantly sacrificing who you are to make somebody else happy while breaking your boundaries, you need to evaluate the true nature of the relationship. This means you cannot be afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Yes you can care and desire their happiness. But their feelings are not your responsibility. Don’t enable others. Make sure you understand your self worth. Other may cause you to question whether you are worthy of them. It is the opposite. You need to ask if they are worth of who you are and the gift you represent to every relationship.
If They Are IAF
If you are in a relationship with an IAF, learn to have patience with the way they internally process pretty much everything. Accept they can be pretty stubborn if they are wrestling with their emotions. What’s important is not to always let them sacrifice to earn your favour. Reinforce that they have your favour for just being who they are and not what they can give up. Let them share their inner complexities with you. Just listen. Don’t try to fix things. Just listen. Tell them it’s going to be ok. Listen some more and then when the time is right, gently, suggest an action plan. Did we mention to just listen?
Also if you want to make an IAF heart sing, share your feelings. Share details of your days and how you felt about them. Be open and vulnerable because that is the relational transparency that is the foundation of intimacy. But you also need to know when to lay out the truth and stop an emotional roller coaster from going too far. Yes the IAF is complex, but you can help simplify the process of a great relationship.
The IAF and the UCD make a great tandem because they are so different. The IAF is also a powerful combination with the SSA because of how much they relate on emotional levels. The unhealthy KWR can be particularly frustrated by the IAF. Ultimately the IAF has the ability to help all the other motivational profiles experience relational intimacy and fulfillment on the deepest level.